After all these years...

          This weekend, I hosted my little sister's bachelorette party.  It wasn't supposed to be anything too wild; just myself and five other friends having a good time back in our old college town.  When we arrived at the kareoke bar my sister requested, I felt like I was returning to the scene of a crime.  I was immediately flooded with memories of my own college days.  My intention was to be the grown up.  I am six years older than most of the girls, not to mention, married with a child.  When the night began, everything was going according to my plan.  I should have known that any night that began at a bar called Shenanigans would end with a few shenanigans too.  
          When the girls started doing kareoke, I sat at the table, guarding purses and taking pictures.  When we dealt the first hand of Bachelorette Dare Cards, I slyly slipped mine into my purse.  I was not about to ask a stranger to take a body shot off of me or find a bald man in the bar and kiss his head.  The only bald head I kiss these days is my husband's, thank you very much.  As the night wore on and the bar filled up, I began seeing old familiar faces.  When my Red Bull and vodka kicked in, I relaxed and even allowed my sister to pull me from my chair for a dance.  By the time the girls were ready to leave, I had come out of my shell and was beginning to remember how much fun it is to have a true girl's night out.  As we left Shenanigans, I spoke to the familiar old faces and gave them brief updates on our common acquaintances.  One guy introduced me to his friend.  I assumed he was just being polite, since his friend (we'll call him Tony--he looked like someone on "Jersey Shore") was standing there as we chatted.  At the next bar, I noticed that my old friend and Tony were there too.  Coincidence?  Maybe.  I hoped.  The girls and I danced in a tight-knit circle to prevent any guys from ruining our girl time.  We sipped water, except for the bride, who was still taking shots bought for her by old friends.  At closing time (2:00 a.m.), my Red Bull was still in full swing, and another bridesmaid and I tried to convince my sister and the other girls that we should find a late-night party.  Apparently Tony was listening in.  He pulled us aside and offered to host a late-night party at his house and invited all of us.  I informed him (again) that I was married and was just trying to make sure my sister enjoyed her last night out.  He was persistent.  As we walked to my SUV, his pleas were still ringing in my ears.  "Please come over.  I'll treat you right!"  "Can I have your number?  Can I call you?  I don't even know your name!" 

          In the car, I was giddy.  I had done it!  I had gone out with the girls and picked up a guy at a bar without even trying!  It was proof that I am still attractive to someone besides my husband.  I know it sounds silly that a happily married woman should need to find validation in such a way, but since the birth of my son, I have honestly wondered if I still "had it."  You know... it's that something you have in college that guys can't seem to resist, but somewhere along the way it gets lost.  Charm, spunk, appeal... or maybe it's just confidence... whatever it is, I felt it had disappeared after I settled into married life. 

          Back at the hotel, the girls and I finished the sangria that I had made and laughed about the antics of the night.  Finally, at four o'clock, we decided to get some sleep.  The next day, when my sister and I arrived back at my house, hungover and unshowered, my husband laughed.  He knows the sign of a good time.  He unloaded my car while we lounged on the couch and my son napped.  Later that I evening, I told him about Tony, the guy who wanted to take me home.  He smiled and spun me around in the kitchen.  As we danced in front of the sink he said, "That's my baby!  She's still got it after all these years."
Monday afternoon, I got an AARP notification in the mail.  Thank you for the reality check!

Starting off with a Bang...

          Right now in Mississippi, there are major issues concerning teenage homosexuals.  A few months ago, there were reports that a student would not be able to have her photo in her senior yearbook because she was openly gay and wanted to wear a tuxedo instead of the traditional drape worn by girls.  Now, in Itawamba County, the junior/senior prom has been cancelled because a female student wanted to bring her girlfriend to the prom.  I cannot even begin to speculate how this became an issue in the first place because it will only fuel my disgust.  It's an issue now though-- a BIG one-- and it is garnering national attention.  The ACLU has gotten involved in both cases and the female student from Itawamba Co. just appeared on the Ellen DeGeneres show to discuss this whole debacle. 
          I understand that Mississippi will probably always be known as "the buckle of the Bible belt."  I'm not asking anyone to change their personal beliefs, opinions or morals.  However, a student's sexual orientation is not the business of the school administration or the community.  School officials (at least those at most public schools) do not dictate who heterosexual students bring to school functions, or what they wear, although they probably should.  I understand that some may not agree with the homosexual lifestyle, but it is not their job to "set those kids straight," so to speak.  If they wanted to save souls, then they should have gone into ministry, not education.  Doesn't separation of church and state apply here?  Isn't it a conflict of interests to cancel an entire school event because a few people do not agree with a particular student's lifestyle or moral decisions?  For instance, if a principal was a member of the KKK and called for a racially segregated prom, there would be a national uproar.  Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton would decend upon that town faster than you can blink your eye and that principal would be publicly disgraced.  I think that if educators were half as concerned about the academic affairs of students as they were about the social affairs of students, then MS would not be ranked last in education.  Conversely, if parents and educators showed the same amount of concern for the morals of ALL students as they do of these few, we might teach sex ed in schools and MS might not lead the nation in teen pregnancies.  But I forget, we are in Mississippi, the Buckle of the Bible Belt. 
          I am curious though, as to how many students pictured in the senior yearbook are pregnant or are already parents.  How many pregnant teens will attend proms?  How many teenage parents?  Is this not equally as immoral or has this become so commonplace that society is no longer outraged by it?
          Parents and community members in Itawamba County have made such statements as, "What happened to the Bible Belt?"  and they have expressed that when their children attend a school function, they expect it to be "moral and stuff."*  There is a great logical fallacy here.  Implying that teenagers in Mississippi are less likely to engage in immoral activities simply because we are a predominantly Christian state, is like saying that teenagers in Mississippi should know a lot about farming because we are also a largely agricultural state.  I could probably count on one hand the number of people I graduated with who knew anything about farming or even gardening for that matter.  However, my entire senior class seemed to have a good knowledge of the Bible.   But we also had a lot of knowledge about how to sneak alcohol into a school function.  We knew the gas stations in town that would sell us cigarettes and some of us even knew how to roll our own.  We knew how to hide the night's deeds from our parents when we came home and how to quickly recover from a hangover so we could sit with our parents in church on Sunday morning.  It's important to keep up appearances, you know.  We also knew where the health department was, so we could get birth control without our parents' knowledge.  We knew who was gay, who was pregnant, who was on drugs, who sold drugs, and who partied hardest. However, we had a very effective, but unspoken "don't ask, don't tell" policy.  My point is this: geography does not determine morals.  So let the community members, parents, and Bible-thumpers be outraged by this incredible moral dilema, but don't tell them what their own kids are up to on a Saturday night, and certainly don't let them hear the music played at the prom.  What do these parents think their kids will be dancing to on prom night?  I recall the proms I attended and I KNOW none of the music played or dances danced had anything to do with upholding the morals our parents and preachers taught us.
          The parents and school officials who started this uproar need to have a little Bible study of their own.  They need to be reminded that it is not our place to judge one another.  It is however, our place as humans and as Christians to LOVE one another; be KIND and FORGIVING to one another, and not judge the sins of another unless you have owned up to your own.  It is the practice of adopting and adhering to only certain parts of the Bible that has caused the buckly of the Bible belt to loosen.  While the residents of Itawamba County are asking "What happened to the Bible Belt?" they might also want to ask, "What would Jesus do?"




*as quoted on http://www.wapt.com/

Both Feet In

I have finally taken the plunge and started a blog.  YAY me!  I cannot guarantee that my postings will always be funny, or informative, or even enlightening.  I have a lot on my mind though and need a forum.  I am constantly amazed by the small-mindedness of others (particulars those in a position of authority).  I am incredibly interested in issues involving children, education, the arts, and parenting.
The baby's awake now!  I guess my first official post will have to wait.  More to come soon!