Be Kind to One Another

DISCLAIMER: I am NOT engaging in a biblical debate.  I am NOT stating my opinion on gay marriage.  I AM standing up for Christians (real Christians...the kind that "love one another" not the bigots who use God and Christianity to cover their hatred) and for the right to state one's opinion.

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I have tried my best to stay out of the Chil-fil-A hoopla.  I think the whole mess is ridiculous.  I was reminded how ridiculous it was when I saw this floating around on Facebook:

I was just about over it when I read a recent interview with actress Sophia Bush online.  Here's a little taste of what ignited my fire:

"I'm sorry, it's 2012, if you really think it's OK to deny anybody their basic human right of loving who they choose to love, you can go f--k yourself, honestly. And you can print that, because I'm done. I am so over it!  Be a kind person...We are all supposed to be equal here."

Annnnd the fury is back!  First of all, this statement is so ignorant that I'm embarrassed for her.  Sadly, someone will read this and nod their head in agreement.  They might even clap or say something equally as ignorant like "Preach on, sister!"  But here's the thing, no one is trying to deny anyone the ability to love who they wish.  You can't really legislate love.  Certainly Mr. Cathy is not attempting to deny anyone the emotion of love.  Additionally, he was not unkind in his response to the question.  He did not bash anyone or any group of people.  In fact, his entire business is built upon the tradition of treating every person with honor, dignity, and respect -- regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender.  Ms. Bush did get one thing right, though:  We are all SUPPOSED to be equal here, but let's get real, we're NOT!  Women still experience sexual discrimination all the time! 

Then she really got me going...

"When you use God as an excuse to hate people and you use God as an excuse to cut people down, first of all, I think it's insulting to God. And second of all, you're missing the point."

No, Sophia, YOU'RE  missing the point.  Dan Cathy isn't expressing hatred toward anyone and he didn't use God as an excuse for his opinion.  As has been stated repeatedly, he expressed HIS OWN OPINION, which happens to be shared by millions of Christians.  Sadly, it is also shared by thousands of other small-minded, loud people who CLAIM to be Christians as well.  So you've obviously confused Dan Cathy with the preacher of Westboro Baptist Church.  

Here's the thing, as a company, Chick-fil-a takes NO POSITION on gay marriage.  That's right folks, NONE!  Mr. Cathy can do whatever he wants with the proceeds of HIS company because it's HIS BUSINESS!  In June of this year, General Mills-- whose products include Cheerios, Pillsbury and Green Giant vegetables -- announced that it is opposing a Minnesota constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman.   Do you see Christian groups lining the streets and jamming the internet with petitions against General Mills products?  No!  Has anyone stopped feeding their kids Cheerios because of this?  I don't think so!  Also in June, Nabisco's Oreo brand posted on Facebook a picture of an Oreo cookie with six colorful layers representing the gay pride rainbow. The caption: "Proudly support love!"  Does this mean that Oreos are no longer milk's favorite cookie?  No.  Would you have even known about this if I hadn't written this blog post?  Probably not!  Because no one made an issue of it.  It is their right to support who/what they want, just like it is my right not to buy their products.  This does not require a major protest.  If conservative Christians reacted to these things the way liberal groups react to Christian statements, then we (Christians, that is) would all be driving around with "Death to Doughboy" bumper stickers.

As Christians, we are taught to love everyone.  We are also taught not to judge because it is not our job (John 8:7, James 4:11-12).  I was always taught that, in the eyes of the Lord, no sin is greater than another.  Therefore, the person who covets their neighbor's house is no better or worse than the person who disrespects their parents.  And who hasn't been guilty of one or both of these before? 

 Here's my point:

There was a time when it was dangerous to be black in this country, and now, I fear, we are entering a time when it is dangerous to be a Christian and share your beliefs.  My preacher recently posted a status update regarding this debacle.  He stated, "the Founding Fathers... believed that diversity of thought, denominations, and religion was a good establishing principle for our new nation. I believe it has served us well as a country. We are treading on dangerous ground when it is no longer acceptable to express a religious opinion whether Christian, Mormon, Muslim, or atheist."  He's exactly right!  We have become a society that is so hypersensitive that if anyone expresses any opinion about how one should live or love, then they are infringing on someone else's civil rights!  Get Over It!

This is my proposed solution:

Christians, if you truly are a Christian, then you should examine yourself before you condemn anyone else.  Look at your own heart before judging what is in someone else's.  We are all sinners in the eyes of God.  Pointing fingers at someone else because they have sinned "more" than you or "worse" than you doesn't detract from your own short-comings.  Remember, we were all created in God's image.  

And to everyone, Christians and non-Christians alike, take some advice from the book of James:

"...always be more willing to listen than to speak. Keep control of your anger." (James 1:19)

And remember:

"A big forest fire can be started with only a little flame. The tongue is like a fire. It is a world of evil among the parts of our body. It spreads its evil through our whole body and starts a fire that influences all of life." (James 3:5-6)

She Makes Me Smile

I never thought I could love a kid as much as the ones I babysat in college, until Joseph was born.  I remember holding him on the day he was born and actually feeling my heart grow.  I was sure I would never love anyone else that much.  Even when I was pregnant with Katie, I wasn't sure if my heart could hold any more love, but when she was born, my heart grew even more. That little girl has a personality all her own.  She cracks herself up and the rest of us too!  She is fiercely independent, yet would follow her brother over the edge of a cliff...or onto the kitchen countertop, whichever comes first.

I don't know if it's her cuteness, sweetness, or my exhaustion from dealing with her older brother causing this, but my own stubbornness and strong will is waning.  Our pediatrician told me that she needed to be off the bottle completely by 15 months of age.  Is she? NO!  I'm sure if I really pushed, I could get her to kick the habit, but then I wouldn't have a baby anymore and she would be very grumpy.  Today at lunch, we were sitting at the table together and she picked up her bottle gave it a hug and began to rock it like a baby doll.  I think this is her way of telling me that she's not ready to give it up.

Ohhhh I hope my will returns before she turns two!

Wise Beyond His Years

I've found that some of mine and Joseph's most profound conversations happen while in the car.  Some of those conversations end in some sort of "backseat confession," as I like to call them...the times when he tells me what he got in trouble for.  But most often, they end with him saying something that reminds me how very wise he is.

Two years ago, I went to AT&T to get a new phone and took Joseph with me.  He was 2 1/2 at the time.  He was small for his age (still is), extremely talkative (still is!), and extremely sweet (still is!).  The kind sales staff at the AT&T store felt bad for the amount of time we had to wait, but were impressed with his patience and interest in everything they were doing.  When it was finally our turn, they let him sit on the counter top and use the scanner to scan outdated bar codes and items that were being discontinued.  Then, they gave him a REAL AT&T name tag with HIS name on it.  Finally, one of the guys brought out an old blue cell phone that had been discontinued.  It was a floor model, so it never really worked anyway, but it had the appearance of a fully functioning phone.  It was about to be thrown away or recycled, but they gave it to Joseph so he could have a phone of his own.  It was like Christmas in July!

Surprisingly, he has kept up with his name tag and cell phone and he still likes to wear his name tag around the house from time to time.  As we were driving one day, he asked me why those people at the phone store gave him that name tag and phone.  I told him that it was because he was such a special boy.  It was the simplest explanation I could come with at the time.  Then, he got me.  He said, "But mom, ALL kids are special."  I was speechless for a moment.  I was stunned.  Even as I write this, I still am.  Where did he get that?  How did he know?  Not that it really matters, because he's absolutely right.  All kids ARE special.

Sailboat Sandbox Tutorial

Ahoy!  A few years ago, my mom gave us a book with plans for backyards for kids.  I FINALLY convinced my dear husband to build our son a sandbox.  Joseph loves sand sooo much.  In fact, during the school year, there is usually a small pile of sand beside our back door where he pours out his shoes after preschool.  
We slightly modified the plans to fit our backyard better and to make it easier to move the sandbox when we move to another house.  The original plan said to build a foundation for the boat out of 2x12 planks and then dig a 12" hole in the ground to set the foundation of the boat into.  Since we are planning to move in the next year, we opted to skip this step... plus, what 4-year old needs a sandbox that's 2 feet deep?! Instead, we added a plywood bottom to the boat to make it easier to transport when the time comes.  
This was one of the simplest plans in the book.  Anyone with with a few power tools can do this in a day.  I did not take step by step pictures (forgive me!).  Here's what we did:

Materials:
sides: (2) 2x12x8' planks pressure-treated wood -- bevel ends to 45 degree angles
ends: (1) 2x12x8' planks pressure-treated wood -- cut in half
ends: (2) 2x4x8' planks -- cut in half
bottom: (1) 4x8' piece plywood 
mast: (2) 2x4x8' pieces pressure treated wood
         (1) 1 1/4" x 4' closet rod
(2) 1/4" x 4" lag bolts
(2) 1/4" cut washers
(4) 1/2" x 1 1/2" screw eyes
(4) gear ties (see picture)
(6) 3/8" x 3 1/2" carriage bolts with 12 washers and 6 cap nuts
Box of 3" galvanized deck screws
Four yards 45"-wide outdoor fabric
Roll of thread (heavy duty)
(4) large grommets
Sand

We built this in our carport and then pushed it into its final resting place before filling it with sand.  Wherever you choose to build, you should consider access to electricity (for power tools), stability of your building service, and easy clean-up.  It was very convenient for us to be able to use the leaf-blower to clean up all the saw dust!

Building Instructions:
1. Bevel the Sides:  We used a table saw to cut 45-degree angles on each end of 2 of the 2x12x8' planks.  Then, we assembled the boat upside down.  Here is a photo of the beveled ends and sides as outlined in step 2:

2. Building the Hull: Using deck screws, attach the end pieces to the sides.  Bevel the 2x4 to match the side pieces and create a seamless fit.  If there are any gaps, use caulk or wood putty to fill in.  Sand can be pricey and you don't want it pouring out the sides!


3. Prepare the Masts:  In each 2x4, drill a 1/4" hole 1 1/2" down from the top.  At the other end, drill three 3/8" holes.  Locate them 4, 15 1/2, and 19 inches from the bottom.


4: Raise the Roof! er, mast: After bolting the masts to the boat frame so they are straight, cut the closet rod (if needed) to fit the distance between the tops of the masts.  Ask your partner in crime to hold one end of the closet rod while you secure the other end of the rod with a lag bolt.


5. Secure the Benches: Space the bench boards about 1/2 inch apart and fasten with deck screws.  Then insert one screw eye at each corner.  Use the shaft of a screwdriver to tighten.


By this time you should have something that resembles this:

6. Fill 'er Up!: It's definitely worth it to shop around for sand.  If we had bought sand at a home improvement store, we would have spent close to $300.  Instead, we called a ready-mix concrete company and they were able to help us out for much less.  They filled the bed of my husband's truck for about $60 and we had sand to spare!


7. Set Sail: Spread the fabric over the closet rod and attach the screw eyes with the gear ties (pictured below).  

You can also use bungee cords, but we had a hard time finding cords that were the right length.  I found gear ties at Target.  They are fabulous!  They're like industrial twist ties.


Sewing the Sail
The sail was made from outdoor-rated polyester upholstery fabric.  I've seen this stuff priced as much as $25/yard and as little as $9/yard, so it definitely pays to shop around.  I bought mine online at www.fabric.com and had a wonderful experience ordering from them.  I also ordered heavy duty polyester thread there.  You'll also need to buy a larger gauge needle, usually intended for denim and other heavy-weight fabric.
Hem the edges -- fold and iron 1/4", then fold down and iron another 1/4" each long side of the sail.  I pinned these folded edges to hold them in place until I could sew them down.  Sew a straight line along the long sides about 1/4" from the edge.
Hem the ends -- I totally messed up this step.  This is what you're SUPPOSED to do: fold and iron 1", then fold and iron another 1" along each end.
Once the ends are folded and ironed, sew a seam 1/8" from the edge of the end.  Then sew another straight line about 2" from the edge.  You'll place the grommets in the space between these two seams.
Insert a large grommet at each corner, following the instructions on the package.

Here's a picture of our finished "sand boat!"

If you have cats or if there are any strays wandering around your neighborhood, you'll want to build a cover for your sandbox either out of plywood or extra sail fabric.  If cats begin to use this as a litter box, it will make your kids VERY sick!  Also, you don't want your sand to get wet when it rains.  However, if you don't want to cover up your creation, I suggest getting a ferocious guard dog such as ours.

This is a great weekend project!  It can also be very easily adjusted for the amount of space you have.  Hope you and your little sailor enjoy!

Sweet Memories

This morning, I took Joseph and Katie to Krispy Kreme, also known as "The Donut Factory."  We sat near the window so Joseph could watch the donuts go through the "icing waterfall."  As I sat there staring at my precious babies, I was overcome with gratitude for their health and for our time together.  You see, I realized the other day that in 9 short months, I will have to register my baby big boy for kindergarten and days like this will be few and far between.  I mean, KINDERGARTEN!?  Seriously?!
While we were eating, I noticed this man looking at us.  I didn't think much about it because I was too busy being thankful that Joseph wasn't asking me 5,000 questions soaking in the moment.  I'll also admit that I looked like a hot mess and if I saw someone who looked like me, I'd probably stare too.  When the man finished his donuts, he stopped at our table and said, "You never know what great memories you're making."  It caught me a little off guard because he looked and sounded so much like Mr. Rogers.  Then he proceeded to tell me that when his daughter was little, they would go to Krispy Kreme together.  Now she's 18 and not very close to her dad at all.  He said her issues are classified as "extreme rebellion."  But one day she had a breakthrough.  As she was hanging out in the parking lot with some friends, she saw a dad and his young daughter walking into Krispy Kreme together and she started crying.  She called her dad and said she'd like to go grab a donut.
I hope that when my kids are teenagers they will not be "extremely rebellious."  I hope that they will continue to be just as sweet and precious as they are today.  But who am I kidding?  ALL teenagers are rebellious at some point.  I hope that when they reach their stages of rebellion, I will be able to recall all the sweet memories I have of them because it might just be what saves us all.

It's a God-thing, baby

This time last year, I was lying in a labor and delivery room at Baptist Hospital, hooked up to all kinds of monitors and machines to prevent baby Katie from arriving 10 weeks early.  I was heavily medicated, very uncomfortable, and very worried.  Strangely, I wasn't worried about the very real possibility of having a premature baby.  I was more worried about the baby I already had at home.

Let's start at the beginning of the story...
Monday, I cleaned house from top to bottom.  I had an incredible burst of energy and I used every bit of it.  That evening, I couldn't get comfortable...my back ached.  "Oh well..." I thought, "I've overdone it today."  I ended up  being up all night though!  The next morning, Joseph was all set to go to Mother's Morning Out.  He told me he didn't want to stay for lunch bunch, but instead wanted to come home and make a special pizza with me and have a picnic on the deck outside.  It was a beautiful day, so I was all for it.  After dropping him off at "school," I called my doctor and asked if they thought I should get checked out.  They did.  I made a lunch for Joseph and dropped it off with the director at his school and headed straight to the doctor's office.

Once I got there, I was immediately hooked up to a fetal monitor to measure my contractions.  Once my doctor saw the contractions I was having, he decided to perform a test to see if I was truly in labor. The test results took an hour to come back.  I realized that Joseph and I would not be having our picnic that day.  I called my husband and told him he would have to pick up Joseph and explained to him what was going on... as best I could anyway.  I called my mom and explained the situation to her and asked her to meet my husband at our house and take care of Joseph for me.  I was taken for a sonogram to measure my fluid levels, measure the size and weight of the baby (who did not yet have a name), and to check for any signs of imminent delivery.  The signs were all there.  While I was with the sonographer, my test results came back.  I was in labor... at 31 weeks.  I called my husband and put him on speaker phone while I got dressed.  The doctor came in and told my husband what was going on and that his nurse would be escorting me through the corridor and that I was being admitted into the hospital.  We were told that they would do everything they could to stop my labor, but to prepare for delivery anyway.  I received steroid shots to help the baby's lungs develop quickly.  I was given fluids through an IV in one arm and magnesium to stop my labor in the other arm.  With all this going on, I think normal people would have been worried about the tiny person inside them.  I was worried that we hadn't decided on a name.  I was worried that we didn't have the first thing in her nursery.  I was worried that Joseph wouldn't understand what was going on, but I was never worried about Katie.  I knew she would be fine... I just knew it.

I spent 48 hours in the hospital and was released on strict bed rest.  I began weekly doctor visits at 31 weeks, instead of the typical 36 weeks.  I had a sonogram each week to check for signs of progression.  I was heavily medicated all the time.  I was told to remain reclined with my feet up and not to ride in a car unless I was going to a doctor's appointment or being admitted to the hospital.  I was one pothole away from a premature delivery.  My initial worry turned to anger.  My "Thank Gods" turned into "Why Gods."  I was angry that I couldn't do all the things I had planned to do with Joseph before the baby arrived.  I was angry that I wouldn't be able to put all the finishing touches on her nursery.  I was incredibly sad that I was missing entire weekends with my baby boy.  My heart ached every time he left to go to his grandparents' or to a friend's house to play.  I was mourning the loss of my independence and the inevitable loss of my first baby.

37 weeks and holding!

My doctor would later tell me that his nurse asked him why he decided to perform the test to tell if I was really in labor since it's not something he usually does.  He said he didn't know why, but I did.  It was God.  Just like I don't know why I didn't ignore my back pain.  Something told me I MUST call the doctor and get checked out.  I'm sure that's also the reason I was never worried about my baby girl either.  I knew that God would take care of her.  For me, there is no other explanation.

After weeks of strict bed rest, I was allowed a few freedoms.  I was able to drive Joseph to school and then promptly return to bed until time to pick him up 4 hours later.  I was allowed to sit in a chair and watch Joseph during his weekly swimming lessons.  Joseph was even kind enough to set up a chair for me outside one beautiful spring day so I could watch him practice his t-ball and drive his tractor.  My husband and I made one more unexpected trip to the hospital before Katie finally arrived.  My doctor and I decided it would be best to induce me at 38 weeks to avoid anymore midnight trips to the hospital and to put an end to my discomfort, since "baby girl" was firmly pressed against my pubic bone.


The morning she was born was one I'll never forget.  It was the day God answered me.  When I held her for the first time, I could hear, "That's Why.  SHE'S why."  And she was so worth it!

When Mommy's Away...

So last night while I was at a meeting, Brian played Mr. Mom, which he has gotten pretty good at lately.  When I got home, shortly after Joseph's bedtime, I went into his room to give him a hug and kiss.  When I asked if he and Katie had fun with Daddy, he replied, "Oh yes.  I was a good helper.  I put Katie in the closet."

Me: "You did what?!  What closet?!"
J: (very proud of himself) "I put her in my closet and I closed the door."
Me: "Joseph, WHY would you do that?!  That's not very nice.  I bet Katie was scared."
J: (innocently/sincerely) "No, her wasn't scared.  I turned the light on for her.  I put her in the closet 'cause her wanted to play hide and seek."

It was then that I realized that I wouldn't get any further with my line of questioning.  I told him never to put Katie in any closet ever again, kissed him goodnight and went to talk to the adult in charge.

Me: "So... tell me about Joseph putting Katie in his closet."
Brian: "Oh, he told you about that, huh?"

Uh...yeah!  You can't expect 4 year olds to keep secrets!

Now, here's the rest of the story according to Brian:

Katie and Joseph had been playing wonderfully all evening.  With her ever-improving crawling skills she followed Joseph around right up until bedtime.  The two of them were playing in Joseph's room while Brian cleaned up after supper.  He noticed that it seemed a little too quiet, so he went to check it out.  He couldn't see the kids, but he could hear Joseph giggling.  Then he opened the closet door to find them BOTH in closet.  Joseph had initiated a game of hide and seek, but had forgotten to inform the seeker.

I am so thankful that he loves his sister so much that he voluntarily plays with her, but we're going to have to work on his storytelling skills.  He almost gave me a heart attack with that one!

You Are What You Absorb?

There's been a lot of chatter in my Facebook newsfeed lately about healthy living.  At first I chalked it up to everyone trying to make good on their New Year's resolutions.  Then I started noticing a different sort of health posts.  Ones that actually show that some of you out there are actually educating yourselves about what you put in your bodies.  


After reading a few articles about the crap that's in chicken nuggets I decided that we are done with the nuggets.  They are the press board of the meat world.  I also saw a video on youtube where Jamie Oliver (of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution) demonstrates how 70% of America's beef is treated with ammonia before it is delivered to our grocery stores and restaurants.  This is abysmal!  The USDA is supposed to protect us and regulate the food industry to keep us safe and healthy.  Isn't that what we pay them for?!  Instead, they conveniently cover up the processes that beef carcasses go through in order to be fit for human consumption.  The bottom line is: We should all educate ourselves about where our food comes from and what we are putting in our bodies.


Now, I want to ask you a question... What about the things we put ON our bodies?  Is what we put on our bodies as important as what we put in our bodies? YES!  Our skin is an organ.  In fact, it's the largest organ in our body.  It helps the liver and kidneys remove toxins from our body and it's also supposed to protect our internal organs from exposure to dangerous toxins.  But how can our skin do it's job if we slather it with toxins on a daily basis?  Fact: The average woman applies 515 chemicals to her face a day (see article: The Toxic Burden).  Just on her FACE! Makeup, perfume, skin care, lotions, other beauty products all contribute to toxins that cause health problems.  Did you know that 60% of what you put on your skin gets absorbed into your blood stream?  Here are a few of the ingredients most people put on their skin each day:


Mineral Oil -- This is basically a highly refined crude oil.  What is crude oil?  Petroleum!  It is a naturally occurring, flammable liquid.  After it is drilled out of the earth, it is refined into such products as kerosene, asphalt, gasoline, plastics, pharmaceuticals and cosmetics.  Wait, what?!  Pharmaceuticals?!  Cosmetics?!  I don't know about you, but I don't drink gasoline and I don't want it on my skin either.  Would you soak your liver in kerosene?  Didn't think so.  But when you put products on your body that contain mineral oil, you are essentially doing just that. Mineral oil creates a barrier on your skin that does NOT allow ingredients to be absorbed. It's like covering your skin in plastic wrap.  This barrier does not allow toxins to be released from the skin either. It also dehydrates skin by pulling water and moisture from the bottom layers where skin is regenerating. 


Artificial Colors and Fragances -- They are unnecessary as there are plenty of beautiful colors and fragrances that occur in nature.  Soaps, shampoos, and body washes are drying to the skin and leave scum on the surface layer, just like on the bathtub, and can strip the skin of its precious acid mantle and natural moisture. The correct pH would match the acid mantle of the skin which functions best at a pH of 5.5 to 6.5. When the acid mantle is preserved it acts like a bug zapper to germs and bacteria.


and last but certainly not least...


Animal By-products -- Did you know the most prestigious cosmetic companies in this country purchase ingredients from Rendering Plants? But what is a rendering plant?  Rendering plants are collection centers for leftover animal parts and old restaurant grease. Cosmetic companies use the rendered, greasy by-products for lipstick, eye make-up, foundation, facial creams and soaps. These are all ingredients that are not right or necessary for your skin.  I don't know about you, but I'm not about to put french fry grease and road kill on my face or my kids.


It is a fact that U.S. cosmetic companies often create safer products for their European market and sell the more dangerous versions in American stores.  Why?  To date, the European Union (EU) has banned 1,100 chemicals in cosmetics; the Food and Drug Administration in America has banned only ten. In fact, Cover Girl waterproof mascara contains the same ingredient (petroleum distillates, an oil by-product) as Dr. Scholl’s Wart Remover-both of which are illegal in Europe. (click here for full article) 


So why does the U.S. cosmetics industry continue to manufacture and sell products that so many other countries have banned?  Because the FDA has no authority to test chemicals in cosmetics, to require safety testing before products reach the consumer market, or to recall products. Cosmetic manufacturers are wholly responsible for the safety of their own products and for making sure they adhere to the FDA’s guidelines. Why does Europe get the "safe" version of products?  Because the European Union Cosmetics Directive (EUCD) mandates that products “must not cause damage to human health when applied under normal or reasonably foreseeable conditions of use.”  There is no such law or regulation in the U.S.

In a 2007 study, the Environmental Working Group found that:

• One in thirty products sold in the U.S. fails to meet industry or government safety standards.
• Nearly four hundred products sold in the U.S., such as Crest Whitestrips and Neutrogena daily face cream, contain chemicals banned in Japan, Canada, and the EU.
• Ninety-eight percent of all products assessed contained one or more ingredients never tested for safety

It’s inevitable that we will encounter tons of toxic chemicals over a lifetime.  However, your liver can only process so much!  Do yourself (and your liver) a favor and invest in products that have been rigorously tested and manufactured to European standards as we in the U.S. are a little behind.